1. Sometimes I think, I’m spiralling again, slipping downward in those cycles of dark depression and deep despair I know very well by now. On days when I can fight I manage to slow the downward slide a little, digging into the dirt with my nails, trying not to scream. It doesn’t bring me back up. It just gives me a bit more time. But for what? I’m so tired I can’t haul myself back up. Can only pause my descent through these awful tightening…Continue Reading “Slices of a thousand flowers”

Notes: This is a post that was originally intended only for patrons; I’m temporarily making it public, but will lock it back to patron-only after a few days. Content warnings include: detailed discussion of mental health, in particular depression and suicidal ideation; trauma; abuse; homophobia; hospitals; financial stress. I wrote this three weeks ago: Dear patrons, hello! I come to you having decided that “when it rains it is a deluge so please move all furniture to the second floor and stock up on canned…Continue Reading “April showers”

Two days ago, I was stunned to receive an email informing me that I’d been chosen as one of two Fellows for the 2016 Tiptree Fellowship, which is awarded to creators of work “that uses speculative narrative to expand or explore our understanding of gender, especially in its intersections with race, nationality, class, disability, sexuality, age, and other categories of identification and structures of power.” It still hasn’t fully sunk in — November was a very hard month — but it is an understatement to…Continue Reading “Bright threads in the tapestry: on the 2016 Tiptree Fellowship”

This was originally meant to be a Patreon-only post, but I’ve thought about it and decided it might do me good to have it public, for now. This post isn’t about art; it’s meant to be part of a process wherein I’m trying to remove the roadblocks getting in the way of me doing art this month. It’s going to be a pretty personal post, too, with some heavy stuff, so please do skip it if you like.

Continue Reading "Thursday confessional"